There is one thing that I have longed for all of my adult life. It is something that, I feel, completes a person and makes them enjoy life more than they could ever have before. Something that brings their levels of happiness, confidence and passion to a level that was never before imagined. Something that can grow with a person and join them on their journey of life - enhancing it every step of the way. And, unfortunately, something I have spent my entire adult life looking for - but failed miserably at trying to find - my soulmate.

Like many, I have met individuals who I was sure were "the one". I was so sure, in fact, that I made it a point to tell my family and friends - along with the whole world in the form of my writing - only to have to eat my words sometime later. The really embarrassing part is that I have done this on more than one occasion. And no matter how many times I swear to myself that I will never do it again - my history repeats itself and I am back to being single and eating my most recent words all over again. The funny thing is that what upsets me the most when a relationship fails is not having to eat my words again - it is realizing that if the woman I just broke up with is not "the one" - then that means that I have still not found my soulmate.

I must say that I feel I am not like the typical "guy". I enjoy being romantic, I am always a gentleman to the lady I am with - and I care about the feelings of the lady I choose to keep company with. More importantly, I am always going out of my way to make the person I am with happy - more for myself than for them. I get happiness and satisfaction making the lady I am with happy. Not with jewelry or gifts, but by sharing in her interests and hobbies and by listening to her hopes and dreams - and then helping her try to make them come true. I also make no secret of my feelings for the person I choose to date. I am happy to tell that person whenever I feel it in my heart, I am proud to tell our family and friends - and I enjoy writing columns to the world about how in love I am. And yet - I always seem to meet a woman that tells me she loves me and wants me to be her partner - only to once again wind up alone.

To be honest, I am starting to think that there is no one woman for me - one "soulmate". I am getting the feeling that while some people find that one life partner and spend the rest of their lives building a home and a family - my life will consist of meeting women that are only destined to be in my life for a period of time. Be it a few months or a few years - I have a hunch that instead of a life with my soulmate - I am destined to share parts of my life with different people - and then end up alone with nothing but old pictures and lonely memories.

While there are some people out there that would love a life where they can jump from partner to partner and never be tied down - I am not one of those people. I have built a life for myself that I enjoy very much and that offers me a lot of perks and opportunities not common in most people's existence. I would love nothing more than to be able to share those things and any other aspect of my life with a woman that will not only appreciate them - but appreciate me.

If there is a soulmate out there for me, I doubt I will ever find her seeing the great job I have done so far. And should the day ever come where I do find her, she is going to have a real, hard time convincing me that she is "the one" - because I would probably have an easier time being convinced that there really is a Matrix. I will also have a really tough time letting her as deeply into my heart as I would have wanted to - considering the barrage of heartbreak and sorrow I have experienced in my search for her. But should the day ever come when my alleged soulmate and I finally meet, it would be a day that I have awaited for some time, and a day that I long for - so I can finally give my heart, my love and my soul to the woman that actually deserves it.