Since the first day I got on an airplane, I have traveled many places. From Ohio, to Chicago, to Colorado, to Alaska, to Georgia, to Florida and to Boston – I have always felt on vacation when I went to those places – and the feeling was wonderful. But since I have been here in San Diego, I have not felt on vacation at all – I have felt at home.

Even though I have been here less than a week, this trip has already taught me a lot about myself and the choices I have made in my life so far. I have learned that while I was a proud Brooklynite for many years and have written extensively on the subject – it just doesn’t feel like home to me anymore. I find that in my travels throughout the borough, I am always running in to my past, I find the people to be rude and cutthroat, I find the cost of living way too expensive – and I feel that in the last 34 years – I have done all I can in that borough. In other words, I feel that if Brooklyn was a stone – I have squeezed out the last drop of blood. Combine these long and lingering feelings of Brooklyn with my new found feelings for San Diego – and there is no doubt that I truly believe in my heart of hearts that I have found my new home.

Since I have been here, I am noticing that I am experiencing both physical and mental changes. For example, of the four nights I have slept here, I actually fell asleep under my own power and was able to sleep through the night. In Brooklyn, I would not accomplish this simple task without the aide of either Tylenol PM or a nightcap. My heart is also beating a lot slower, and the pains in my chest that have plagued me on a daily basis are gone. I have also smoked less, drank less – and even tried new food – something I have always considered a taboo.

Mentally, I am less on edge, friendlier to my fellow man and much more tolerable then I have ever been before. Yesterday, I helped Wendi volunteer for a kid’s soccer tournament from 7:30am to 1:30pm. Here I am, someone who does not enjoy the company of children, surrounded by close to 500 of them as they ran around playing soccer and screaming at the top of their lungs – and I did not complain one bit. I can only imagine how I would have reacted if I had done the exact same thing in Brooklyn.

So what does all this mean? Am I simply just calmer because I am, “away from it all?” Or, am I actually changing into a better person and realizing that while Brooklyn has been my home since the day I was born – it no longer is? Knowing myself the way I do – I know it is the latter – and with three-and-a-half more weeks to go until I was scheduled to return home – I know the changes will continue and that the love I had for Brooklyn will continue to fade farther and farther away until it is all gone…

…and I realize that I do not have to return home – because I am already here.