Since the dawn of time, women have unfortunately had to deal with the harshness of men – putting up with their infidelity, dominance – and most importantly – abuse. Despite the fact that I am a man – I will be the first person to admit that men are pigs – especially when it comes to how they treat women. Most men look at “their woman” as property – and feel that through intimidation, threats – or outright abuse – they can control and manipulate them in any way they choose. While the worst part is that the men do this – the saddest part is that most of the women who endure this put up with it because they, “love them.”

When I was a contributing reporter for The Brooklyn Skyline, I interviewed a woman in a domestic violence shelter for a story that my editor unfortunately called, “Sleeping With The Enemy.” Before I could conduct the interview – I had to spend three days on the phone with this woman earning her trust and constantly convincing her that I was not a spy for her husband who was trying to find out her location. When I finally gained her trust and heard her story of abuse, I was appalled. In a nutshell, she had to pick her and her kids up and run away from her home, her belongings and everyone that she knew and loved in the middle of the night simply to avoid enduring further mental and physical abuse – because if she did not – she probably wouldn’t have been alive to talk to me on the phone.

Each and every day, four women die in this country as a result of domestic violence. This violence is certainly physical, because it caused their deaths – but how many women are slowly “dying” each and every day due to mental abuse? How many women in this world are enduring screamed insults, forced sex, isolation – and denial of their hopes, dreams and desires because of a man they are trapped with? What percentage of women in this country are living each day as prisoners not just to the man that is doing this to them – but from their own lives? And most importantly – why are they not doing anything about it?

Abusive men, like murderers, have a pattern. The first thing they do is convince a woman that they are Prince Charming. Next, and once they lure the woman in – they begin to show signs of abuse in the form of mental abuse, which usually and quickly turns physical – and then they isolate the woman from her friends and family – and eventually force them to quit their job and make them a virtual prisoner in their own home. Through threats, insults and outright force – they make these women think that without them – they could not survive – because no one else would ever want them or care for them. And because these women have nowhere else to turn but to these men due to their imposed isolation – the men get away with it…

…how very, very sad.

I recall a story I once heard about a woman who was living with an abusive man who beat her, raped her, pimped her out – and even defecated on her in the bathtub. After years of enduring this, she got into a “John’s” car on a night that the husband was prostituting her – and begged him to take her to the police station, which he thankfully did. Whenever I think about this tragic story – I wonder how the woman felt as these horrible things happened to her – and why it finally took her so long to make it stop.

Personally, I know several women who were both mentally and physically abused – and even dated a few after the fact. For the rest of their lives, even if they got rid of the men in their lives that abused them – they were never the same. They were cold, distant, jumpy – and distrusting to any man they encountered. Basically, they were so brainwashed by the man or men who abused them that they could not carry on a normal friendship or relationship with any other man – because they were convinced that any other man they interacted with would do exactly the same thing to them that their abuser did.

If any woman who is living in an abusive relationship is reading this – whether that abuse is mental or physical – please get out. For no one’s sake but your own – you have to realize that you are far more important than the “man” – or lack there of – that is doing this to you. Each day that you spend with this so-called man is another day you dig yourself further and further into a hole you will never – ever – be able to get yourself out of. And the one day you do finally get yourself out of it – it will be in a body bag.

Think about yourself. Think about your kids if you have any – and begin a new life – without this poor excuse for a man that is making your life a living Hell…

…for no one’s sake but your own.